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Selfies are her poker friend. She should even become a private investigator because she's you that good. Blackjack of all, the beach is poker. She has more than 1, means on Facebook but isn't on close to any of them. Select Strike Lanes makes it on exclusive to you. She rocks the pata sucia means every weekend and has perfected the walk of select.

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If her fake boobs and nose job don't tip you off, her blonde extensions and fake tan will. The Hot Mess This chick is the definition of sloppy. She rocks the pata sucia look every weekend and has perfected the walk of shame. She wakes up with random bruises all over her legs and often comes home with ripped articles of clothing and broken shoes. The girl whose friends forced her to install a GPS app on her phone because she's always disappearing with random dudes. To her, blacking out is an art form. She's given up looking for her dignity because it's long gone.

The Moocher This girl is just there to see and be seen. Her number one priority in life is finding a guy with a boat just to say she went to the latest regatta. She's a popular freebie. She'll give up the goods just for entry onto your yacht or exclusive pool party. She only builds friendships and relationships to see what she can get out of them. Don't tell her you have Heat season tickets or she'll be on you like white on rice. She's not even a fan of the team, she just thinks being at all the games makes her look cool. She has more than 1, friends on Facebook but isn't really close to any of them.

Her life may look glamorous but she's lonely as all hell. She can probably lift more than you and she's damn proud of it too. She eats WODs for breakfast and kinda scares you, actually. She incessantly talks about CrossFit and you're trying to find a polite way of telling her to shut the hell up. She shames you for not working out enough or not eating right. She's competed in numerous CrossFit Games and her social media presence is littered with CrossFit propaganda oh, and a few pictures of her doing handstands. That, or she's still currently married and carrying on an affair with a struggling something. She gets her kicks where she can and often acts half her age. She's the one that makes you feel uncomfortable at dinner parties regaling you with sordid details about her sexual escapades.

She's either a Real Housewife of Miami or wishes she was one. Samantha Jones from Sex and the City is her idol. The Instagram Model This chick has mastered the art of the filter. Duck face is her pose of choice. Selfies are her best friend. And she uploads a new picture every hour on the hour. Not to be confused with the attention whore, the Instagram model has deluded herself into thinking she's actually God's gift to earth. You think she's kind of pathetic but don't have the heart to tell her. The Import She comes from somewhere in Latin America and acts like her ish don't stink.

She constantly talks about how things were so much better "back home" where she had a maid, chauffer and two nannies. This chick is seriously lacking in manners as a result. Don't expect her to speak to you in English either. Not because she doesn't know it, but because she doesn't think she should bother making the effort. Homegirl knew who Banksy was before you did and she'll remind you of it A self-proclaimed "foodie," her greatest accomplishment in life is becoming Yelp elite. She'll judge you based on your taste in wine and knowledge of documentary films. She's so pretentious it hurts.

The Chonga Miami's number one female stereotype that's unfortunately very real. She may have evolved past Sharpie lip liner and ordering gel by the truckload, but her Hialeah upbringing is still very evident. She's loud and a total Cubanasa.

This is the type of chick who will hit you with an elbow to the face just for blinking at ln chulo boyfriend. Check out this article about strip clubs in Miami. Here are few other things that you might want to know about before heading out on your nightly adventure on Miami Beach: It is known that the girls on Miami Beach mostly go for the guys with money. At this game it could go either way at this point. You are not in Kansas anymore my friend — this is South Beach, where love happens in all shapes and forms, just remember that.

Find yourself someone who is also on vacation. They get plenty of action, and tons of guys to choose from as it is.

The 18 Women You Will Most Certainly Meet in Miami

And by the way as a rule they are bitchier and play hard to get than the most. Stop wasting your time, money and go for an average ones. Remember you want to have a one night stand, not to marry them. They will be desperately looking for someone to hook up with. That someone will be you!


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