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Dates The numbers game I Heapth to a Mayfair nightclub for speed dating originaldating. The scatter-gun concept works: I leave datinb confident, but have to wait for feedback next week to find out if my self-belief is justified. I re-write my profiles and spell out that I want a girl with lovely hair and boobs as I have neither and would appreciate the novelty. I also add four Red Flag Words: She works for BA. Her legs are dramatic. I tell her about my writing, my website, my passion for the Balkans.

revieews I book another spot next Saturday to see if I can do better, armed with new jealth from my Mens health dating site reviews coach: I am told to be self-deprecating in my humour; stories that show me as a reviewe person reviewd encouraged; my eye wandering must be on point, too — reviewd eyes to mouth to neck with the odd chest glance. Top of the chest mind, not boob ogling. Research says this works. Which works for me. I treat her to a moderately priced pizza and fating house red but, after a science-backed cleavage glance, Naija dating match to up the ante.

She wants to meet again. Still on a high when I get home, I feel a change in myself. I rejig my profiles to make them punchier. When playing the numbers game, a controversial personality will strike gold at least some of the time, where something blander could easily pass straight under the radar. Pick out something noteworthy about them shoes or haircut, presumably, not her huge nose. I tell three girls I find them attractive and would like to take them out for a drink. One is engaged but the others divvy up their numbers. A spectacular standard of women. The fact that I was there at all put me in a good light. I open with a general comment on the rain but add that I stole my umbrella from a market stall.

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It's only after a small amount of conversation with some of my matches that I realise my iPhone thinks it's in Texas. The likelehood of these these ladies flying in to London from Texas tomorrow is low. Tinder lesson number two: Friday It's Friday and I'm still dateless. This should be the ultimate test of Tinder: I sit in a bar nearby and start riffling through pictures, putting my fate in the hands of the Tinder Gods. After about fifteen minutes, I recognise a friend on it. I swipe her to the right, and we start messaging. We're both surprised to find the other one on there. She comes to the pub and we have a pleasant evening over pints. Has Tinder passed the test? Saturday I wake up in my cold and blameless bed alone.


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